Leaf and Steel

motherhood - growth - living

Let’s Talk Puppy Blues

Let’s talk puppy blues and why it’s normal to feel depressed, hate your puppy, or even want to return your puppy in the early days.

Puppy blues or “puppy postpartum” is extremely common.

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Let’s say you decide to get a dog. You do all your research, you buy all the toys. You imagine snuggling your little fluff-ball on the couch and taking long walks with your new best friend gliding by your side. You mentally prepare yourself for the first few sleepless nights, the vet bills, and house training.

Depression, anxiety, and feelings of deep regret are not in most people’s vision of early puppyhood. Certainly, they weren’t in mine!

I Regretted Getting a Puppy

Earlier this year, my husband and I decided to get a dog. We did everything “right”. We had good intentions. We researched what felt like every single breed, made pros and cons lists, and investigated how to choose a reputable breeder.

After weeks of deliberation, we decided on a Vizlsa. We had both admired them for a long time and felt that the breed would suit our family best. We both had dogs in the past and thought we knew what we were doing.

We got all the things we needed, got in contact with an amazing breeder, and started saving for the expenses. When we would receive pictures of our growing boy, I was felt with nothing but pride and excitement. It was a very similar feeling to seeing my daughter on an ultrasound when I was pregnant.

I was so excited to have a little toddler and a new puppy. Looking back, I’m not sure what I was thinking, ha!

We picked up Bodhi when he was 8 weeks old. He was the cutest, sweetest, droopiest little boy. He was so calm and slept on my lap the whole 8 hour drive home.

I Knew We Made a Mistake

As we pulled into the driveway he gave me a nibble on the arm. Little did I know, we had brought home a full on land-shark. He was a terror. There was literal blood, sweat, and tears. He bit with such force and determination.

“Aren’t dogs supposed to be in tune with our emotions?,” I would ask myself. He didn’t seem to care. We tried what seemed like everything.

Let's Talk Puppy Blues - 8 week old vizsla male puppy

I was constantly covered in bruises, bites, and scrapes. I lost several pairs of pants to the cause. I didn’t love him. I didn’t feel bonded with him. I didn’t feel like he loved me. I didn’t feel like it would get better. I remember waking up anxious every day because I had to manage him.

I would cry all the time. I would beg my husband to bring him back. I felt like we had made a huge mistake. I would tell everyone and anyone how hard it was to have a puppy. Without doubt, having a baby was a breeze compared to him.

I didn’t know for a little while that I was suffering serious puppy blues.

What are the puppy blues?

Here is a definition from Psych Central, “Post-puppy depression, another term for puppy blues, isn’t a formal diagnosis. It’s a term used to describe feelings of regret, disappointment, and dismay that can occur after getting a new dog.”

The puppy blues can be caused by your puppy’s destructive behavior, neediness, or inability to sleep through the night.

What are the symptoms of puppy blues?

Let's Talk Puppy Blues - 8 week old vizsla male puppy

According to ChoosingTherapy.com, symptoms of puppy blues include the following:

  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Feeling anxious, sad, and/or hopeless
  • Feeling helpless and/or paralyzed
  • Feeling guilty or ashamed
  • Feeling trapped
  • Feeling empty inside
  • Feeling numb
  • Suicidal ideation
  • Feeling angry or resentful towards your dog
  • Thinking you made a mistake in getting a dog, or wishing you could return them
  • More frequent crying
  • Increased tension or more frequent arguments with other members of your household
  • Increased irritability
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Increased muscle tension, headaches, nausea, or stomach upset
  • Changes to appetite and weight loss or gain
  • Difficulty sleeping even if your dog is sleeping through the night

Do the puppy blues go away?

Yes, with the right amount of time and training the puppy blues do go away. Ideally, puppies are easier as they grow into themselves, learn to relieve themselves outside, and form a bond with their owner. Speaking with other dog owners or even a mental health professional can be beneficial as well.

Some situations where puppy blues may not go away is if your new dog is reactive or sick. This can lead to ongoing feelings of helplessness and loneliness. A qualified trainer or vet can aid in diagnosing these issues and potential solutions.

For awhile, I didn’t believe people when they said that he would “grow out” of certain behaviors. I really thought we had a lemon on our hands. I thought there was something wrong with him. Diligent training and age definitely helped his behavior and ability to calm down.

Now, Bodhi’s biggest issue is that he jumps on people when they come into the house. This is non big deal with a small dog, but having a 60lb mass of orange muscle jumping up to lick your face can be terrifying. It’s my most significant stressor when it comes to my dog. However, now I have some experience to show me that with the right training, discipline and time, we can get him to a place of safe and joyful greeting.

What can you do about the puppy blues?

The best thing you can do for the puppy blues is to have realistic expectations of your puppy. Puppies are messy, needy, and have no impulse control. Also, most puppies are brought home at 8 weeks old, which is still very young! Embracing the insanity definitely helped my relationship with Bodhi.

The fastest path to forming a bond with your pup is through training. Starting with small, five minute lessons is a great way to start. Sit, stay, and lie down are all basic essentials.

Let's Talk Puppy Blues - 6 month old vizsla male puppy

Something else that helped in the beginning was treating it like a new baby. We ordered takeout, used paper plates, let the laundry pile up, and just focused on survival mode.

Training as a Solution to Puppy Blues

However, one of the most helpful skills a pup can learn is how to settle. We taught Bodhi this by rewarding him anytime we saw him “chilling out”. Over time he came to jump onto his favorite chair and put his head down on his paws.

Another thing to save your sanity during the puppy blues is crate training. We chose this crate for our dog and we used it from day one! We began giving him “enforced naps” every few hours. He had a hard time sleeping outside of his crate, so it gave him time during the day to rest. Puppies need a lot of sleep.

Crate training also gives the owner some time to relax, knowing that their puppy is safe. It’s also essential so they are used to being crated in emergency situations, at the groomers, or at the vet.

Will I ever love my new puppy?

Yes! It can feel like that bond will never come, but believe me, it will over time!

I’m sure there are some dog lovers who won’t identify with this post, but puppies are hard.

Now that my dog is a year old, I notice how badly I felt towards him. I was waking up anxious every morning, not wanting to deal with his biting and whining. It really was not how I envisioned getting a dog would be.

He’s still very much a puppy in an adult-dog body. There are some days where his existence feels like more work than reward. He’s still a trouble maker, but I’m able to see my part, like when he’s under-exercised or I left food on the counter where he could reach it.

Now I have the dog that I pictured. He’s my adventure buddy and he curls up at my feet with a bone at the end of the night. He protects our house from allllll the squirrels and is so gentle and loving towards our toddler.

He’s on his way to becoming a sweet old man!

Have you ever experienced the puppy blues? Did you know that it was possible to feel this way after getting a fluffy adorable puppy?
Let me know below!

O.

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If you are interested in guest posting on Leaf and Steel, please check out our Guest Post page for guidelines!

August in Review

Whew, August was a doozy. This whole summer has been…well let’s just say it’s been a summer. August had its ups and downs like any month, but there was certainly a lot of turbulence.

I am %100 solidified in my opinion that summer is the worst season. The bugs, the heat, the expectations of fun, fun, fun. It’s not for me. I think I’m just conditioned from childhood to believe that summer is a break.

Well, there are very few breaks in adulthood and there are *checks notes* zero breaks in parenthood. I know, I know, I’m complaining. This is my site, right? I’ve been complaining all month. It’s cute to quantify the gripes with a word count.

Okay, so August. Let’s start with good. Let me try to squeeze a drop of gratitude or delight out of the last 31 days.

The Good

The month started on a Monday. That’s cool, am I right? The simple pleasures.

I stopped reading a book. Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty. If you’ve read my other monthly recaps, you know that I love her books. I got about 100 pages in and realized they’re all the same books? They’re all so formulaic (this is not a term I would use in my everyday-life, but I would imagine people who read, like really read, would use this word). Why is this on the good section? Well, I only have so much free time and it felt kind of…empowering?…to say no. To a book.

My baby is cute-cute. She started to say “wuv yew”. She has been watching Trash Truck on Netflix and now she calls me mom (cue sobbing). Seeing a little toddler waddle into the room saying “hey mom” is absolutely adorable. She’s just the cutest and smartest and sweetest.

I got some part time work. It’s been exciting to make some more money and sit down at my computer and really did my teeth into something, other than blogging. I also got a new computer (the Air), which I love!

The Not-So-Great

Oh boy, are you ready?

Can I preface? I’m going to preface.

I don’t follow a lot of influencers on social media, but one that I continue to follow is Amber Fillerup Clark. I feel like the things she shares inspire me to be better. She’s always making these cute snacks for her kids or suggesting books or doing these sweet little doodle-dos at night. I started doing cute little doodle lists at night.

You know, like making a checklist for the week or content calendar- whatever, but using it as time to unwind at the end of the night and using pretty colored markers. I think I’m making it sound weird but it’s fun.

ANYWAYS, I want you all to know that I sat down on July 31st and I wrote the cutest damn goal list for August. I was going to read 5 books, walk the dog everyday, publish blog posts left and right, drink water. The month was starting on a Monday. What could go wrong?

mouth watering
swollen poison ivy hands
making this into a christmas ornament
healing stages
this sick boy stayed handsome

We all got Covid. The bad kind. Vaxxed, boosted, ready for anything, right? So, so wrong. My husband got it first, on August 2nd, followed by myself a day later, and then my daughter a few days after that. I won’t go into details but we all got very sick and my poor daughter got it the worst and it was all very scary. We are all healthy and take good care of ourselves, it was definitely a reality check that you never know who’s going to get a worse case. It took about a week and a half for us to feel better and two weeks before all the symptoms cleared up.

We all got poison ivy. I would like to thank my dog for this. He probably rubbed against it in the backyard and spread it to us. It has since been cleared.

I got poison ivy. The bad kind. I had to go on antibiotics and steroids for the 3rd time this summer (the other times were from bee stings). You might hear bee stings and poison ivy and think that I’m this Subaru-driving, Hydro-Flask drinking outdoor girl, but I go outside maybe twice a day and only in my backyard and I’m just convinced at this point that I’m allergic to nature in general.

The dog got sick. Yup, him too. The cat is the last one standing. He got some little bacterial infection and was coughing constantly. Luckily the meds they put him on got it cleared up within a few days.

Everything is just a very human mess. I worked during all my free time the last week and a half of August, which was great. But, since I’m home with my daughter all day it’s been a lot and I haven’t really had any time to myself. Factor in laundry, cooking, and making time for this blog and my other projects has been, well, an adjustment.

My post originally ended there.

That’s how I was going to file “August 2022” away in my brain and on this blog.

Well, after I finished writing this post I went to my phone to gather photos to add in.

I was surprised to see all that happened during the month.

I had a great month. I thought I spent it all inside, suffering (not like suffering, but you know what I mean). That couldn’t be further from the truth.

I went so many places this month. I saw my family. I got the baby and the dog out of the house. We went to the beach, the splash park, friend’s houses. I laughed, I was present, I had fun.

What an important lesson in perspective.

Some other little high points:

I got to see a cousin that I haven’t seen in years.

Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer hit the stores.

Baby M and I baked her first pie (it was delicious). We also baked her first pizza (“ew gross” were her exact words). She also had her first trip to McDonald’s which was surprisingly overwhelming, I kept telling her “this is America this is just part of it” and I think she knew what I meant.

Our local animal sanctuary opened back up. They were closed for months (?) due to avian flu. We were so happy to see “our” chickens again!

…and so, so much more.

How was your August? Have any complaints?

Did you try anything new? Are you as excited as I am for a new month and a fresh start?

Let me know below!

O.

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My Favorite Baby Items and My Biggest Regrets

I finally have a list of my favorite baby items! Now that I have a toddler I feel like I know what to buy for the next kid. I was tempted to make this list earlier, but I now feel that I have the perspective to really evaluate what I loved, hated, and didn’t need!

Some of the links in the post are affiliate links, which means I may make a small commission, at no cost to you.

My Top Baby Item Recommendations

If the item has an asterisk (*) it means we are still using it at 19 months!

Baby Monitor*

I love our monitor. I didn’t want one that synced to my phone or measured her oxygen levels or whatever. I knew before I had her that I would need to rest when I was away from her, and that those kinds of monitors would lead to me over-monitoring her.

We went with the Motorola monitor and it’s amazing! My favorite part is that you can turn the screen and volume off but there are little colored lights at the top that turn on when there’s sound in the nursery. We can also talk to Baby M through it.

It has a pretty nice range, so I can bring it outside with me in the morning while I’m playing with the dog.

Aden & Anais Muslin Blankets*

As a former preschool teacher, I’ve had my eye on these for awhile. My students would use them for nap time and their parents would confirm that they had gotten them as babies. Anything that’s usable for years and softer with every wash is a bargain, in my opinion.

I have dozens of muslin blankets from them, and it’s one of the few items that I’m glad I over-purchased. We use them for everything!

Pottery Barn Circle Mat*

Did you know babies can learn just from watching you? We put Baby M down on this mat from a few days old and let us watch us. It’s a nice alternative to a swing, which can inhibit gross motor development with high levels of use.

Gerber Cloth Diapers*

We didn’t use these as cloth diapers, but as do-it-all rags. They worked as emergency wash cloths, burp rags, high chair cleaners, etc. They retain a lot of moisture!

Jellycat Stuffed Animals*

Ugh, I love Jellycats! They are the softest stuffies ever. We have the raccoon, owl, bunny, and puppy. Baby M just adores them.

Chicco LullaGo Bassinet

I am so glad I went with this bassinet and not one that is right on the side of the bed. Baby M was a loud sleeper, even as a newborn. Like, you can’t imagine something so tiny is so loud. I was able to put her at the end of the bed and get (some) rest.

The Runaway Bunny*

This is my absolute favorite baby book. I read it before I was even pregnant and I cried. It’s an American classic! You can also view my (hopefully future) The Runaway Bunny Inspired Nursery here.

Baby Jogger*

My mom got this for my husband as a gift and we’ve fallen in love with it. It’s like a mountain bike. If you keep reading you’ll see that my baby didn’t tolerate wraps, so we ended up carrying her pretty much everywhere. She loves this stroller and we love that she loves it 🙂

Baby Bjorn Bouncer

This one is pricey, but worth it. We added this to our registry because we knew we wanted multiple kids and would pass it on to someone who really needs it after. I love the simple, ergonomic design. Baby M really started to enjoy it once she learned how to kick to make herself bounce!

Fisher-Price Calming Vibes Hedgehog Sooth*

We got this as a gift and it’s just the sweetest little toy. It vibrates and plays lullabies. It’s also super soft.

Sleep Sack*

Who invented these things? They’re genius. I can’t remember when we stopped swaddling, but these were the next step. Now, even with a toddler, I don’t have to worry about my angel getting tangled in blankets or being cold. Burt’s Bees has lasted through puke, poop, and many, many washes.

Antilop High Chair*

This is the best high chair. Ever. It is all plastic, so it’s a breeze to clean. It’s under 8lb. It’s sleek, simple, and stylish. I don’t know why anyone would even consider another high chair.

Mushie Bibs*

I love the Mushie bibs. They’re held their shape over time and are so easy to rinse off. I put a command strip on the back of our high chair so I can hang the bibs while they drip dry!

My Regrets

UppaBaby Stroller and Car Seat

This car seat was so dang heavy. And it didn’t last too long before Baby M grew out of it. The stroller is nice, but it really doesn’t come with much. No cup holder, no front pocket, no tray for the little one to have a snack.

Now, we really only use our baby jogger, as it’s just as smooth and has great carriage space.

Little Unicorn Crib Sheets

I love these crib sheets, but they haven’t stood the test of time. They are too shrunken now. I probably didn’t wash them correctly, but what parent wants to read the tag and do a separate load of laundry? No thanks! Our Burt’s Bees sheets have washed beautifully.

Munchkin Step Diaper Pail

Call me crazy, but was this ever necessary? We started putting our diapers in a little bag outside of the front door and take it out every night. I feel like this pail didn’t really do much. You have to buy the inserts, and it takes up space.

It has a baking soda scent sanitizing thing-a-ma-jig attachment at the top, but the room still smelled like a dirty diaper. I had to put the whole pail outside in the sun for days to get it to stop smelling. It’s definitely not on my list for baby #2.

Things I Bought Way Too Much Of

Poop Bags

I bought those disposable diaper bags like they were going out of style. Now I used them for the dog and the cat litter. I think I’ve used maybe 5 in total so far. Most people are find with us sticking a dirty diaper in their trash or there has been a garbage can around.

Flimsy Bibs

You know those terrycloth-like bibs? I have dozens. I don’t know what I was thinking. We have a few of the Mushie bibs and that’s all we use! My baby wasn’t a drooler, so I think that made a difference.

Wraps/Carriers

I loved my Solly Baby wrap. And my ErgoBaby Wrap. And our ErgoBaby carrier. My baby hated all three. She couldn’t stand being contained past week one!

Diaper Creams

So, modern day diapers are so effective at holding liquid that there is less of a need for diaper cream/baby powder than there was in earlier generations. We are still on our first jar of Aquaphor.

Nipple Butter

Again, I don’t know why I bought 5 when I only used it once!

Nursing Pads

I loved using reusable nursing pads, but I didn’t need them for long. I also didn’t need the 100 or so nursing pads that I bought. I don’t know why I thought I was going to be walking around like a geyser all day.

Gerber White Onesies

These bad boys stain so easily. I received so many (I registered for so many), and I wouldn’t buy them again. Not only are they easily stained, but the fit didn’t seem to last as long as other cotton onesies.

Baby Socks

So. Many. Socks. Now we have so many partner-less socks. My kid hated them. I really only needed 1-2 pairs.

What are your favorite baby items? Your least favorite?

Do you love or hate anything on this list?

Let me know below!

O.

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If you are interested in guest posting on Leaf and Steel, please check out our Guest Post page for guidelines!

Moms in May

Today’s post is a guest post by Sheenia Denae. Find her on Instagram or on her website!

We are always accepting guest posts on Leaf and Steel. You can find more information on submitting your post here.

The birds are chirping, the flowers are budding, and the wind is blowing at just the right speed! As nature prepares itself for summer, I think of all the fun things that are underway. Family vacations, backyard barbecues, and picnic lunches are just around the corner!

But there’s something else I love about May. Something that makes me look forward to this month more than all the others. This is the time of year when we’re celebrated for being moms!

I look forward to that special day where I’m pampered with gifts, showered with balloons, and recognized for my hard work and efforts toward raising my little munchkin! But as sweet as it is to be celebrated by others, I mostly look forward to the opportunities to celebrate myself.

As moms, we know that every day is Mother’s Day! That is why prioritizing our self-care is essential.

In this article, we will highlight a few ways for us to sneak in a little fun and add a little spice to our lives throughout the month of May!

Take a Class

The beautiful weather and pleasant temperatures this month brings makes it a perfect time for taking indoor or outdoor classes that spark our interest.

If you enjoy painting, cooking, or arranging flowers in your spare time, taking a class could be a great way to perfect your craft in either of those areas.

If you want to explore something totally new, on the other hand, such as music, dancing, or flying… taking a class could be a great way to change things up in your life.

Here’s a short list of just a few perks you can gain by taking a class:

  • Mental relaxation
  • Fun and enjoyment
  • Learning a new skill
  • Connecting with other great people

I’m not sure about you, but I was SOLD at “mental relaxation.” So think about it!  If anything piques your interest that you haven’t had the chance to explore… now is the time!

Whatever direction you decide to take, taking a class would be a great way to carve out some quality time for yourself!

Dress to Impress

There’s an old saying that goes, “When we look good, we feel good.”

When was the last time you dressed up and felt good about yourself?  I mean really good!

As moms, we tend to get so busy prioritizing everyone else’s needs that we neglect ourselves at times… especially when it comes to our wardrobes.

May presents the perfect time for us to ditch the yoga pants and sweatshirts, and pull out those gorgeous sundresses that we haven’t worn in a while.

Dressing up has been proven to increase energy and confidence, encourage creative thinking, and foster self-expression… which all sounds like self-care to me!

So for the month of May, try giving your sweatpants and t-shirts a break. They deserve it!

Explore the Great Outdoors

We can’t celebrate Moms in May without honoring the mother of all mothers… Our beautiful Mother Nature is a sight to behold!

Since we spend so much of our time indoors (cooking, cleaning, and tending to household tasks), May is a great time for us to commit to more outdoor activities.

If you’ve been looking for new ways to keep your Vitamin D levels up, here’s a list of some fun activities you can enjoy.

  • Biking
  • Hiking
  • Horseback riding
  • Bird watching
  • Outdoor photography

The way you connect with nature doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated. A simple morning walk can help clear your mind, increase your energy, and make you feel better throughout your day.

Take a minute to think about the ways you’d like to explore, and let the May adventures begin!

I’m a devoted wife, girl mom, and educator turned homemaker.  After teaching for over 11 years, I decided to care for my family full time.  I’m now a part time freelance writer, creating blog posts and articles for businesses and individuals in my spare time.  My hobbies include cooking, reading recipes, and hiking with my family.

Find me on Instagram @made_to_be_marvelous or check out my website at sheeniadenae.wixsite.com/iwrite/

Lets Connect!

Thank you Sheenia for guest posting!

What did you think of the post?

Let us know below!

O.

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Gift Guide for the Tired Mama in Your Life

Mother’s Day is just around the corner! I’ve gathered some of the most sought-after and special gifts to celebrate. These would also make excellent baby shower gifts, as well as amazing sip-and-see gifts! Hey, they’d even be easy new-mom presents.

If you’re a mom or have spent more than four minutes around a mom then you know that we are perpetually tired. Always. It does not matter if the baby slept through the night or not. it doesn’t matter how much sleep we get. There’s just something about mothering that is infallibly exhausting.

I didn’t realize what a currency sleep was until I had a child. There’s an endless list of things I would trade for a solid 8 hours of sleep. Sleep is everything.

These days, my little one is usually sleeping through the night. But, I still have to deal with my own revenge bedtime procrastination, the mental load, and my own hobbies and needs.

Some of the links in the post are affiliate links, which means I may make a small commission, at no cost to you.

I’ve gathered a few of the best Mother’s Day gifts for the tired mom in your life!

10 Quotes about Motherhood

Ice Roller Face Massager

This one is my personal favorite. It felt so good on my face after being up all night with my baby. It’s never too cold and the large size makes it quick and easy to glide across the entire face as often as you need. – $17.99 from Walmart

Barefoot Dreams CozyChic Ultra Lite Long Robe

Ah yes, the obligatory Mother’s Day robe suggestion. There’s a reason you’ll always see robes on Mother’s Day gift guides: they’re practical, they’re comfortable, and they always fit.

This one from Barefoot Dreams is incredibly soft, lightweight, and machine washable. – $148 from Nordstrom

Vegan 24K Gold Eye Patches

A great way to restore tired eyes! These patches improve the look of fine lines and wrinkles. Store them in the fridge for extra relief. They can be used before bed or in the morning. Pair with the ice roller above for a refreshed and relaxed face. – $29.38 on Walmart

Stanley 24 oz Insulated Mug (in the color Blush)

This Stanley insulated mug has a cult following for a reason! “The double-wall insulation keeps your favorite beverage cold for up to 12 hours or iced for up to 40 hours. Unlike normal mugs, this is manufactured using 18/8 stainless steel, meaning it can take a beating.” The bottle is BPA free and has a wide mouth. – $19.82 from Walmart

CozyChic Throw Blanket from Barefoot Dreams

This ultra soft Barefoot Dreams blanket is nothing but dreamy. It’ll be easy for the tired mama in your life to sleep when the baby sleeps with this darling blanket. We share everything with our kids – a luxurious, mama-only blanket is a special treat for a tired mom. 54″x72″ and machine washable. – $147 from Nordstrom

Aromascape Asleep (Lavender & Eucalyptus) 3 Wick Scented Candle

A wonderful way to relax on Mother’s Day is with calming scents and warm light. This 3 wick lavender and eucalyptus candle is sure to help everyone wind down at the end of a long day. Pair with the pajamas below for the start of a relaxing bedtime routine. – $11.99 from Walmart

Essenza Mini Pure White Bundle from Nespresso

The most compact and affordable luxury espresso maker yet! This small Nespresso machine fits onto any counter and is sure to delight any coffee lover. Pair with a mom themed mug and premium coffee! – $219 from Nespresso

SKIMS Rib Pajamas (shown in Heather Gray)

Every mom needs a set of remarkably comfortable pajamas. SKIMS pajamas are high-rise with the perfect amount of stretch. I love the button down front and simple silhouette. They have so many fun colors to chose from! – $118 from Nordstrom

HATCH Rest Mini Sound Machine

Now, hear me out: I know sound machines are usually for the baby – but did you know they can help adults too? This Mother’s Day, let mom sleep in without the chaos on the other side of her bedroom door sounding through…It comes with eight different sounds: white noise, heartbeat, water, dryer, ocean, wind, rain, and birds. Control it all from your iPhone or Android. You can control the timer, dimer, sounds, volume, etc. – $40 from Saks Fifth Avenue

Are you celebrated on Mother’s Day?

Are you a tired mom who would love to receive something on this list?

Let me know below!

O.

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My Baby Knows What She Needs

Ah, let me just grab my megaphone and get onto my soapbox.

*I feel very strongly about this*

I will be screaming all of this into the void for the rest of my life.

Let’s begin.

My baby knows what she needs and it’s my job to listen to her and respect her.

I don’t know how we are in a place where “gentle parenting” even has a name and isn’t just called “parenting yet”. There shouldn’t really be another option, right? Either way, I’m happy society is moving in the right direction.

My daughter has a voice. She’s had a voice since she was in the womb. She would respond to different stimuli- cold water, Chipotle, light. Even before she was “here”, she’s been communicating with me.

My partner and I talked (and continue to talk) about how important it is for our daughter to understand consent and to know that her voice is hers.

I am not in her body, I don’t know what she needs. So, when she wakes up crying at 3 am for the eighth night in a row because she needs a sip of water – I’m not going to deny her water.

If she is rubbing her eyes an hour before her usual nap time, I put her to bed a little earlier. If she takes a few bites of her dinner and says “done”, then I believe that she’s done.

It’s these small moments that show her that I am listening and that I believe her.

Here are some ways we listen to our child.

  • let her finish eating
  • let her have more food
  • let her nap when she’s tired
  • respect her when she says “no” to a hug, kiss, etc.
  • she doesn’t have to hug or be held by anyone if she doesn’t want to

That last one can be a little tricky, especially with family. Although she adores all of her family members, she doesn’t have to hug or be held by them if she doesn’t want to.

We are so grateful that our families respect her boundaries listen to her voice.

When we stop responding to our babies in the middle of the night, tell them they need to eat when they aren’t hungry, tell them they are “fine” when they tell us they feel sick, we are teaching them to go against their gut.

My baby has a gut. It’s hers. She has intuition. Kids are like dogs, they pickup on things adults do not. It’s my job as a parent to protect her gut and listen to her, to teach her how to use it.

Here are some things we do to keep her intuition intact:

  • help her know the difference between a secret and a surprise
  • tell her the difference between safe and unsafe touching
  • tell her who to go to if she needs help
  • remind her that mommy and daddy will always keep her safe
  • remind her that there’s nothing she can do to make us stop loving her

I cannot wait for social media rules regarding parents and kids. I can’t wait for Instagram Coogan accounts.

I have this blog, I have social media. And I have a strict code of ethics when it comes to posting about my kid.

For the love of God, please stop posting bath pics. Stop telling strangers on the internet about potty training. Stop posting embarrassing videos, personal information, or school details.

Your child is a human being who ALREADY has thoughts and feelings.

Here are some of the ways we protect our child’s privacy:

  • respecting when she doesn’t want her picture taken
  • vigorously reviewing everything we post about her, including pictures
  • not disclosing her medical information
  • changing her privately rather than in front of people
  • asking others to respect our wishes as far as posting pictures and information about her

I could go on and on.

I think it’s really important for all of us to take time every so often to reflect on the fact that kids are just smaller adults.

It’s important to review safety protocols and define respect for your family.

What are your thoughts?

What do you feel strongly about as a parent?
Let me know below.

O.

More from Leaf and Steel:

The Best Books about Bugs for Babies

Whether your kid is the one playing with words in the garden or screams when they see a spider, they’re sure to love these bug themed books!

This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission off of products that are purchased through these links, at no cost to you. You can read more about this process here.

Spring is the best time to introduce these bug books.

Insects and bugs make excellent preschool topics for spring!

I know when I was a preschool teacher, I loved teaching my kids about the parts of an ant. They enjoyed learning about silly spiders and sweet lady bugs too!

Another fun idea for spring is to read these books outside and then go on a bug hunt in the garden!

The Best Butterfly Books for Babies

Why should you read to your baby everyday?

Read to your little one every day. The easiest way to do this is to tack on reading to another routine, like reading before bed, before mealtimes, or after a nap.

See this answer from Zero to Three (click for reference):

Reading together when babies are as young as 4 months old increases the chances that parents continue reading to babies as they get older. Beginning early is important because the roots of language are developing in a baby’s brain even before he can talk! The more words your baby hears over time, the more words he learns.

Zero to Three, “Read Early and Often“

Should you read to your baby when pregnant?

Yes! I began reading to my daughter when I was pregnant, even though I felt pretty silly doing it.

See this explanation from the Cleveland Public Library (click for reference):

Additional research suggests that third-trimester babies not only pick up on language patterns, but after birth, they can recognize words they first heard in the womb. Though the extent to which babies in utero can learn has yet to be determined, prenatal reading is nonetheless a wonderful way to kick-start healthy brain development.   

Cleveland Public Library, “Born to Read: Reading to Your Baby in the Womb”

Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Little Love Bug: Finger Puppet Book by Chronicle Books

Hello, Bugs! (Black and White Sparklers) by Smriti Prasadam

Some Bugs by Angela DiTerlizzi

Walter’s Wonderful Web: A First Book About Shapes by Tim Hopgood

Backyard Bugs – Touch and Feel Board Book by Little Hippo Books

Hello, Garden Bugs: A High-Contrast Book by Julissa Mora

Mrs. Peanuckle’s Bug Alphabet by Jessie Ford

The Honeybee by Kirsten Hall

You’re My Little Cuddle Bug by Nicola Edwards

Do you read to your baby everyday?

Do you know any of the books on this list?

Let me know below!

O.

More from Leaf and Steel:

How I Breastfed for Over a Year

I breastfed for 13 months and I couldn’t be more proud of myself! It was something that I decided I wanted to do even before pregnancy. Fed is best, of course, but I knew I wanted the bond and endless benefits that come from nursing.

Keep reading to see how I was able to breastfeed my baby for over a year!

Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind when prioritizing breastfeeding is all the amazing benefits for mama and baby. Here are some of those benefits from the CDC website (click for reference):

benefits of breastfeeding from the CDC

How I breastfed my baby for over a year:

I Kept Telling Myself I Could Quit

I told myself I could quit – tomorrow. I just had to make it one more day! It’s simple, but it got me through the first really tough weeks.

I built a freezer stash for my own sanity.

I began pumping almost immediately after my milk came in. I used this pump and these bags to store my milk! I would lay the bags down flat in my freezer at first, that way they would defrost faster.

Pumping and storing milk allowed my husband to give her a bottle and it gave me a little freedom to get out of the house, or you know, take a shower.

Not everyone has an easy time pumping, and I definitely didn’t once Baby M started solids. But, I didn’t have a problem with doing it. I would sit down for 20 minutes either during naptime or after my baby went to bed and just scroll on my phone and pump.

Realistically, I would’ve been sitting on the couch on my phone anyways, so it never felt like a big deal.

How to Build a Portable Breastfeeding Bin

I Rewarded Myself

One thing I don’t miss about breastfeeding is the sheer amount of calories I would have to consume to make enough milk and to feel satiated.

I would treat myself to my favorite high protein, high carb meals all the time!

I also purchased a few new sweaters and tops that were nursing friendly.

Mommy and Baby Day Off Schedule

I Followed other Breastfeeding Moms on Social Media

I followed @g1avasis, @marissathemilkmom, and @milkymamallc for inspiration! I didn’t know a lot of moms who nursed past a few months, so seeing other moms online really helped motivate me to keep going.

10 More Mom Influencers to Follow for Inspiration

I supplemented when necessary.

There was a point where I didn’t have hours to sit pumping the amount I needed to satisfy my baby. She was only getting one bottle a day, but once we started solids my supply had slowed down.

It seemed like a huge decision at the time, but we started supplementing with formula. My husband was able to give her a bottle and I wasn’t attached to the pump every spare moment.

Let me tell you, I have never felt so free!

We used Enfamil liquid before switching to the powder for our baby. My heart goes out to families that exclusively bottle feed – that stuff is expensive.

5 Things I Did to Go Into Labor Naturally

We weaned when we were ready.

We weaned around 13 months. My baby was nursing for a minute or two when she woke up. She would pinch and poke me towards the end and it was becoming a very uncomfortable and frankly annoying experience.

One day, we just stopped. There was no “last time” or tears. It felt like a mutual decision between my baby and I.

I am so grateful for the bond we share and memories we made nursing. I’m proud of myself for sticking with it and finding a way to make it work.

How to Survive Your 1-Year-Old’s First Blood Test

It’s been a relief to have my body back.

No, not in that way. My body will never come “back” because it never left. It has definitely changed and shows the wear of a pregnancy and birth and sleepless nights.

What I mean is it’s a relief to have my body back. I no longer have to monitor what I put in my body and worry about it affecting my baby. I’m not in pain if I haven’t fed or pumped in a few hours.

I had an instinctive moment of hesitation while drinking an extra large espresso drink, before remembering that the caffeine wasn’t going to affect anyone but me!

My plan for next time.

I have big pumping plans for baby #2! Next time, I plan on prioritizing pumping in the beginning so I can build a bigger stash for when we decide we’re done nursing. We are going to get a deep freezer so that the frozen milk lasts longer.

I also plan on trying to breastfeed longer. There are so many benefits of “extended” nursing and it was just so convenient and easy!

What’s your experience with breastfeeding?

Is it normalized where you live?
Let me know below!

O.

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If you are interested in guest posting on Leaf and Steel, please check out our Guest Post page for guidelines!

How to Get Out of a Bad Mood Quickly

I’m irritable right now. I am beyond irritable – I am crawling out my skin with grumpiness.

I’m well versed in the idea of “man plans, and God laughs” – no matter what time I get up in the morning or how detailed my to-do list is, things never quite go how I lay them out.

And that’s okay!

I will say that the days when I don’t get some alone time to recharge, I can get super grumpy!

I’ve always needed time to center myself and take mental breaks – very hard to do now with a busy toddler. I use nap time just for me, but on days when my husband works late, a 1.5 hour break out of a 12 hour day doesn’t feel like enough.

So, here are some things I do throughout the day to get out of a bad mood – quick!

  1. Drink water
  2. Have a snack
  3. Do a 5 minute clean of my space
  4. Meditate
  5. Do a quick exercise
  6. Text a friend
  7. Put my face in a bowl of cold water
  8. Go outside
  9. List 5 things I’m grateful for
  10. Write it out

I think the most important one for me on this list is doing a 5 minute clean because now that I have a toddler, it’s one mess after another. I can never seem to keep on top of it all! There is always laundry to be folded or dishes to be washed or toys to put away. I know that this is a big source of stress for me so I plan on getting super organized in the new year!

Another one that almost always works for me is drinking water. I always feel like I’m doing my body a disservice by not staying hydrated, so this one really helps.

As you can see, a lot of my discontent stems from not having enough time or poor planning – definitely things I need to work on!

At the end of the day, when I take a step back and realize the things that I get stressed out about are fixable and not immediate.

I know that my job these days is to be present for myself and my child. The laundry can be folded later, the mess can go another day.

I always feel good when I’m plugged into the moment and rooted in gratitude. Spending quality time with the people I love, writing, moving my body and connecting with the world is when I feel most fulfilled – not when my house is sparkling clean or I’ve checked everything off of my to-do list.

I definitely need to remember that when I get a little grumpy!

What do you do to get out of a bad mood? Do you also believe you have to make a choice to get out of a bad mood?

Do you use anything on this list?

Let me know below!

O.

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7 Unexpected Baby Shower Gifts for the New Moms

It begins the moment the pregnancy is announced – it becomes all about the baby. Everyone wants to know what they can buy for the little bundle of joy.

But, what about mom?

Here are 7 sweet items you can purchase for the next mom-to-be in your life!

If your familiar with me or my blog, you know that I am frugal to a fault. I used to think I was exceptionally talented at separating the needs from the wants, but sometimes everything besides food feels like a want.

Now that I’m almost a year into motherhood, I’ve found that there are a few splurges that wouldn’t want to live without! I am so grateful that I received the following items as gifts from loved ones or bit the bullet and spoiled myself.

During my pregnancy I would buy little gifts for myself here or there. I then put them in a bag in a closet and gave them to myself as a “postpartum gift”. Having some new clothes, self-care items and things on this list really helped me feel like a human being again.

I know as a new mom, even the slightest acknowledgement that I was separate than my baby and just as deserving of nurturing love and care went a long way.

1. Yeti 20 oz Rambler

Trust me on this. This is my most prized possession. You will need coffee and you will need a Yeti to keep it hot for hours. I don’t know how this thing works, but I’ll never drink out of a mug again!

2. A Luxury Bathrobe

An extra cozy bathrobe is a must-have. Those first few weeks are brutal and you will not want to be dressed in anything that isn’t super soft and boob-accessible. I wore pajamas and a bathrobe for the first three months and I will apologize to no one!

This one from Barefoot Dreams is worth the hype.

Slippers are up there with the bathrobe. Why be anything but comfortable? You just had a whole baby. I’ve had a lot of slippers in my day and I have to say it’s a toss up between Ugg and Minnetonka for comfort. Uggs tend to be a little more sturdy, so it depends on your needs.

3. Airpods

Airpods are the best for making a phone call while taking care of baby, listening to a show while breastfeeding at night, or slipping in during a never ending crying event. Now that I’m riding the cordless train I’m never looking back. I love using my Airpods when we go on walks and Baby M has fallen asleep – it’s a great time to check in with friends or jam out.

4. Slippers

It’s a toss up for me between Minnetonka’s and Uggs! I’ve owned a lot of slippers in my day and they have been my footwear of choice since becoming a mom. I will say that Uggs seem to hold up a bit longer, but Minnetonka’s are softer. Either way, slippers are a great gift for a new mom.

5. Starbucks Gift Cards

A whole lot of them. I found a drawer that was filled with Starbucks gift cards. I uploaded them all to the app and figured out the point system and online ordering. It would be a special treat for Baby M and I to go out and get Starbucks on Friday afternoons. You can never have enough Starbucks gift cards.

6. Sweatpants

Are you seeing a theme here? Comfort, comfort, comfort. But, that doesn’t mean style has to be sacrificed! Rails is one of my favorite brands and lasts a lifetime. Cozy sweats are a must-have for at least the first 18 years after having a baby.

7. Crock Pot

I have been loving my Crock Pot lately because I can just toss all the ingredients in, set it and forget it! It makes the house smell amazing and one pot = one thing to clean. This one has 6 settings including a roast and sauté setting. Throw in some ingredients and cute paper plates for a thoughtful, easy gift!

So, there are the things I wouldn’t want to live without in early motherhood.

Although it’s so much fun to spoil a new baby, it’s easy to forget that moms need some immediate spoiling too!

Do you have something you splurged on but now can’t live without? Anything you’d add to this list?

Let me know below!

O.