stay at home mom Archives - Leaf and Steel

Lessons from Stay-at-Home Moms

April 11, 2022

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Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work! I knew that being constantly responsible for Baby M and putting my career on hold would be a challenge, but I deeply underestimated the sacrifice I was making.

I feel incredibly blessed to be able to stay home with my daughter – especially when she was a tiny infant. It was a decision that my husband and I discussed before we were even married. There was no question that we wanted me to be home with the baby for the first year or two.

We’ve put off a lot of “big” expenses and I definitely have given up a portion of my sanity, but it’s all been worth it.

Keep reading to hear tips from fellow stay-at-home moms!

“Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”
Maria Shriver

What’s the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom?

For me, the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom is not having the structure of a workday on top of not having my own income.

I’m sure you already know that being a stay-at-home mom is work. I know that I’m personally exhausted at the end of the day, even if it sometimes feels like I didn’t actually do anything.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of that a nanny or housekeeper would get paid for what I’m doing for free.

I have feverous re-read this article from Investopedia, “How Much Is a Stay-at-Home Parent Worth?” (click for reference):

According to 2019 data from Salary.com, if you are a stay-at-home parent and paid for your services, you would be looking at a median annual salary of $178,201. Why? Because many stay-at-home parents work around the clock. If you have young children, work can often mean nighttime feedings, greeting early morning risers, and late-night meal prep.
Investopedia, How Much Is a Stay-at-Home Parent Worth?

Is being a stay-at-home mom worth it?

If you’re looking for an answer to this, you won’t find one.

One reason is that the answer varies based on your partner’s income, your home life, your child’s needs, the economy, and your personality. You will find plenty of working moms who wish to be home, and moms who spend naptime dreaming of being back at the office.

We can’t choose all paths, right? So, there’s always going to be a sacrifice. I know I have put my career on hold for time with my daughter, time that I know I won’t get back. I don’t know how that will affect my long-term earning power or work life.
Is it worth it? I believe that happy, secure parents = happy, secure baby, so whatever gets you there is the right path to walk.

Tips from stay-at-home moms

Here’s my tip:

Do whatever you want while baby is napping. Whatever you want. Whether that’s a nap or scrolling on Instagram or eating raw cookie dough while writing a blog post (like I am right now). Save the chores and checklists for when baby is up. They are fine entertaining themselves or observing you!
O, Leaf and Steel

The best tip I have for stay-at-home moms is… Be you and be gentle with you! There is no stay-at-home mold, so trying to put yourself into one or creating one, may be be very frustrating. Being as true to yourself is what will make this season enjoyable. So if your an artist at heart, paint with you littles. If you are a chef at heart, whip it up in the kitchen with kiddos. If you are a napper at heart. Create a schedule that includes spa like vibes and cucumber water and lay-it-down! Just remember this a hard job, but mama you are right for the job and if someone doesn’t like what or how you do it… tell them to stay hydrated and mind their business.
Leah, Those Who Can’t Vlog, Blog (itsleahb.wordpress.com)

“As a stay-at-home mom, I have had to learn many things, but the most important thing I have learned is that I am enough. My son doesn’t care how I look, how much money I make, or what my past looks like-he only cares about me being there for him. Being the best mom I can be, every day, is more than enough for him.”
Jaimie, The Naptime Blogger (thenaptimeblogger.com)

Don’t read into the motherhood help books/websites too much. It will cause you more stress than you already can handle in daily life. Give yourself grace and roll with it day by day.
Michelle, Mrs. Michelle Gomez (mrsmichellegomez.com)

Becoming a stay-at-home mom for myself was completely new and eye opening when the pandemic first happened. Two things I learned to work on for myself that I would suggest to any stay-at-home mom is to not pressure yourself to complete every single task and to make sure to reach out to other moms or friends that will help you maintain your sense of self. We become so focused on doing and going for our family and household that we don’t do the simple things that make us happy and feel like the individual we are.
Nicole, The Expressive Mom (theexpressivemom.com)

Do you have a tip for other stay-at-home moms?

Were you a stay-at-home parent or plan on becoming one?

Let me know below!

Little Things I Do To Make My Baby Feel Loved

January 20, 2022

One of my favorite things about being a mom is showing my daughter just how much I love her! There’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and child. One of my jobs as a stay-at-home-mom, or any mom, really, is to make sure her world is filled with comfort, happiness, and love!

Since she is one, she is spoiled by simple pleasures. This is what I love about tiny children – they find joy in the smallest things. Yesterday, Baby M entertained herself with a half-filled sprinkle container, shaking it back and forth.

We all know the stories of the kids who would rather play with the cardboard box that the toy comes in rather than the actual toy, and those anecdotes are completely true!

If there’s one thing we all can appreciate about children it is their innate ability to find enjoyment in the most unassuming things.

We took her to a local holiday light show at Christmastime. It brought tears to my eyes to watch her little face light up with amazement. Last summer, we took her to a farm in Lancaster, PA, and she was absolutely ecstatic to see so many chickens.

It’s true that having children really does make you notice and appreciate the little things.

There are some acts of kindness that I like to practice with my daughter every day. I want nothing more for her to feel safe, loved, and cared for. I have such fond memories of my own mother taking care of me with tender, loving care.

So, here are some of the ways I’ve been giving my girl the love she deserves lately!

Loads of Affection

This one is completely natural! Hugs, kisses, pats…showing constant affection for my baby shows her I’m here and I love her.

Cut sandwiches into shapes

The easiest way to do this is to get a pack of cookie cutters. I use them on everything, from cucumbers to apples to sandwiches.

Bubble Baths

My baby loves a good bubble bath (who doesn’t?)! Burt’s Bees Bubble Bath is our soap of choice.

Set Up Toys

My husband and I set up her toys in the family room play area in different arrangements each night. I have a post on how to set up a learning center for your one-year-old here. I feel like Dwight Schrute setting up Michael’s action figures every night – ha! It makes every morning feel like Christmas morning.

Adventure

Baby M is my “little adventure buddy”. Although I’m pretty introverted, having a built-in travel companion has been so much fun! We visit the local farm, the pet store, the library – anywhere we can go, we go! If it is winter where you are too, check out my post on 5 Free Indoor Places to Go with Baby.

Lots of Fresh Air and Sunshine

We love being outdoors any chance we get. Even though Long Island winters are dark and gloomy, we try to get out anytime the weather warms up. Baby M loves to “travel” by stroller or wagon.

Validate Feelings

This one should go without saying! Labeling and validating my little one’s emotions helps both of us. It helps my daughter learn to identify her feelings and that all feelings are valid! It helps me because it causes me to slow down and put myself in her shoes rather than getting frustrated. She is right on the cusp of toddler-hood so it must be so hard for her to figure out what she needs and how to communicate to me! Empathy is key.

These are just some of the things I do to make my daughter feel loved and that help me feel like I’m being a “good mom”. If cutting sandwiches into shapes isn’t your thing, or you aren’t able to take them on adventures, that’s cool too.

I believe that there are countless ways that we can show our love. At the end of the day, I think patience, kindness, love, and consistency is what makes a good mom.

Do you do any of these for your child? What was the most important thing your parent did for you growing up?

Let me know below!

5 Things About Me

October 20, 2021

Welcome to Leaf & Steel! I’m so happy you’re here.

This fall, I’ve been putting way more effort into this whole blogging thing.

I’ve published 21 posts so far in October – a mind-blowing record for me.

With that, I’ve had an influx of new followers and readers.

I wanted to share 5 things about me to let my readers know a little bit more about the face behind this blog!

I’m a Stay-at-Home-Mom

I have a sweet little baby and I love staying home with her! My favorite part about being a stay-at-home-parent is being able to walk through the day slowly. There’s no rushing to get her dressed or fed or out of the house. I’m especially grateful for being able to stay home on the days where we do have to be somewhere at a certain time. I love being the one to meet my daughter’s needs throughout the day.

I firmly believe that bagels are God’s gift to mankind

…and the best bagels are on Long Island! I’ll fight anyone who disagrees. A toasted sesame with cream cheese is absolute heaven.

I didn’t go to college

Someone recently told me that if we are upfront and honest about the things we are ashamed of the power gets taken away from that thing. I don’t fully understand why I feel ashamed for not going to college. It been years since anyone has asked me if I’ve gone to college. Maybe it’s because I went to a very competitive high school or because The funny thing about shame is that I would never judge anyone else for their education, or lack thereof. I would just tell them, “so what?” and move on.

I like to be alone

…okay, I love to be alone. I enjoy the company of my friends and family immensely, and I love to be alone. Shopping, manicures, walking, cooking – whatever it is, I prefer to do it alone. I make sure I get in enough socialization so that I’m able to stay on light side of solicitude and isolation.

My dream is to own a hobby farm in upstate New York

And it must include (but not limited to), one highland cow, two goats, three chickens, and a barn cat.

I’ve fallen in love with the Hudson Valley and Catskills over the years. There’s something about the wide open spaces and small towns that is so refreshing coming from Long Island. I’ve found that the people are nicer, the air is cleaner, and I feel more connected to the universe when I’m up there.

What are five things about you?

Let me know below!

10 Fall Decorations Under $10

September 13, 2021

Fall is only a few days away! The Christmas season will always be my #1, but fall is a close second.

I anticipate the first day when the humidity dissipates and and the air conditioning gets turned off.

Some blog posts may use affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission off of products that are purchased through these links, at no cost to you. You can read more about that here.

The leaves start to change and everyone starts to bundle up.

The pumpkin patches pop up and the apple cider comes out.

Autumn on Long Island is absolutely beautiful. There are so fun fall things to do – from apple picking on the East End to crunching leaves in one of the charming small towns.

Given the state of the world, we have been spending a lot of time in our house. This means I want to make it as cozy as possible for the fall! I have my usual decorations that I’ll pull out on September 20th, as well as heading to the nursery to pick out mums and pumpkins.

If you’re in need of more fall decor too, I’ve compiled a list of 10 items you can buy off Amazon for under $10!

Some blog posts may use affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission off of products that are purchased through these links, at no cost to you.

10 Items for Under $10

1. Happy Fall Rustic Farmhouse Garland

2. Thankful and Blessed Pumpkin Hanging Sign 12×12

3. Farmhouse Buffalo Plaid Pillow Covers 18×18

4. Burlap Pumpkin Autumn Pumpkin Flag

5. Farmhouse Truck Wreath Autumn Maple Leaf Decor

6. 7 Piece Artificial Pumpkin Set

7. Lighted Fall Leaf Garland

8. Pumpkin Kisses and Harvest Wishes Hanging Sign

9. Autumn Window Clings

10. Vintage Pumpkin Farmhouse Autumn Sign

If you’re interested in more fall things check out my Ultimate Autumn Playlist and Fall Bucket List!

Will you be decorating for fall? Let me know below.

Back to School Chaos? 5 Ways to Simplify Your Life

September 7, 2021

As the fall approaches and summer comes to a close, it’s clear that my life has lost all sense of routine! I thought I would list a few of my favorite things for beating the August laziness and getting back on track!

Autumn is my absolute favorite season. I want to be able to fully enjoy it with my baby this year, and not be caught up in the effects of my own scattered brain. For example, the past few weeks I’ve been going to the grocery store several times a week, instead of sitting down an meal planning so I only have to go once.

This post may contain affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission off of products that are purchased through these links, at no cost to you. You can read more about this process here.

I want to make sure my schedule is clear so I can do all the fall things.

Here are 5 things I use to help me reset and get on top of my life:

1. Freezer Bags

I know it sounds simple, right? I started getting into freezing when I was researching things to make postpartum life easier. I’m quickly became obsessed with the concept of taking one day to cook for a whole week (or two!). I make a huge batch of healthy turkey chili and freeze it once it cools. I have lunch for at least 7 days. Having my meals prepped like this gives me one less thing to think about during the day. I also will pre-chop vegetables that I commonly use, like carrots or onions. When I’m cooking dinner I can just throw in the bag and it saves time and makes it easier to cook on nights when I just don’t feel like it. 10/10 recommend freezing everything. Ziploc bags work best. I’ve found that store brands can be a bit more flimsy.

2. Slow Cooker

The best way to cook those meals for the freezer bag? A slow cooker. My crock pot is my best friend once the weather cools down. I love how the smell of bread, tomato sauce, stew, or whatever I’m cooking fills my home. There’s something so comforting about having a home cooked meal, and something so convenient about not having to actually cook it. This is the crock pot I’ve had for over 7 years, and it’s still working so well!

3. Online Coupons with Honey

The next item on the list isn’t exactly a thing – it’s virtual couponing! Using sites like Honey save you time by finding the best coupon code automatically. I love a good bargain and use to spend time searching online for a discount code. Honey makes life easier by doing this work for you – and it’s free!

4. Acrylic Organizers

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably wasted hours of your life just looking for things. I have a lot of trouble keeping things clean and putting things away when I’m done with them. I’m in the process of changing this, because it’s something I really don’t like about myself. When everything has a designated spot in my home I save so much time. When I’m done using an item, I know where it goes and where to find it. So does my husband. I’ve started collecting acrylic bins and they’ve helped me immensely. I can see what’s in them and they are easy to clean – win-win.

I have them in every area of my house. The place they have helped the most is in my snack drawers and fridge! I used this set.

5. Daily Planner

What routine/organization list would be complete without a daily planner? This daily planner is beautiful and has not only calendars but plenty of space to write down multiple events for each day. It comes with labels to help with the planning process. I’ve tried using apps on my phone, but pen and paper is my preferred way of staying organized.

So, this fall you won’t see me stressing out about managing my day-to-day responsibilities.

I will be contently walking through a pile of fallen leaves with my PSL and organized life in tact!

What do you need to help you get organize? Do you do a reset when the seasons change?

Let me know below.

7 Things I Do Every Day as a Stay at Home Mom

August 16, 2021

I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 8 months now and I love it! I am so grateful that I’m able to be home with my daughter. There have been SO many sacrifices to make this work, but it’s been worth it.

It took me a while to figure out my rhythm and how to have a productive day. It took me even longer to see value in what I am doing. It really is a full time job. I am a nanny, a chef, a secretary, a personal shopper, a housecleaner, a milk factory, a teacher and countless other job titles.

There are people making a lot of money doing what I do.

I am also a wife, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a writer, and a member of the community.

I am so much more than a stay-at-home mom. That’s why it’s been important for me to take time every day to do the following 7 things!

Here are 7 things I do as a stay-at-home parent to stay sane!

1. “Work” Time

Being a stay-at-home parent means that I take on more work around the house, simple as that. I take time throughout the day to work on the annoying tasks that have to get done, like

scheduling
being put on hold for half the day by Verizon, Staples, etc.

forgetting to put 1 essential food item on my shopping list and then spending an hour going back to the store to get it
spending several days taking my 10-year-old printer apart instead of biting the bullet and buying a new one

2. Walk

Walking is the only type of “exercise” that works for me. I really do it to clear my mind and get some fresh air for me and the baby. We like to find little waterfronts to explore and we always play this checklist game.

LOOK for 1 dog
LOOK for 1 cat
LISTEN for 1 bird

SMELL 1 new smell (fresh cut grass, laundry)

And of course, say hi to anyone we pass, because becoming a mom has made me friendly. Or, maybe it’s just the lack of socialization in 2021 ha!

3. Relax

I relax for part of nap time. I have to. I “work” 24 hours a day. It took me a little while to see that it’s perfectly okay for me to take time to relax as a stay at home parent. I have no lunch break. I have no “decompression” time on my commute home. It’s on me to manage my mental wellness and realize when it’s time to be productive and when it’s time to put my feet up and scroll Instagram or watch TV.

4. Reach out

It can be mind numbing to talk to a baby all day. The narration, the “oohs” “aahs” and “yayayays” make me feel like a robot some days. That’s why I’ve made it a priority since my daughter was born to make a phone call every day. It’s one of the easiest ways to stay grounded in the insanity

5. Get out of the house

I hate this one, but I do it anyway! Maybe it was the events of 2020 that caused me to be comfortable with being a shut-in. Leaving the house can be hard. Leaving the house with a baby can be even harder. Every day, we try to get out of the house. Even if it’s just those waterfront walks or the grocery store, being in public and getting a change of scenery keeps me grounded.

Our new favorite place is the pet store, or what I like to call the “free zoo”. Baby M loves looking at the fish and kittens up for adoption. It’s a quick and easy way to keep her entertained out of the house. We’re always looking for fun, easy, free things to do together – if you have any suggestions, let me know below!

6. Work on my hobbies

This is the hardest one on the list. I struggle with finding the motivation to work on the things that fill up my cup. Writing, reading and working on my side projects sometimes get put on the back burner. However, I’ve found I’m a better mom and an all around better person when I’m carving out time to work on the things that bring me joy. After spending %90 of my day giving my energy to other things, this time is necessary.

7. Play!

The most important thing I do as a stay-at-home is PLAY with my baby! There’s nothing better than sitting down on the floor and reading my daughter a book or playing peekaboo. The sound of her little laugh when I pretend to eat her feet fills my heart with so much joy. I know that after food, a safe place to live, and clean clothes, my uninterrupted time is the most valuable thing I can provide for my child.

What do you think of this list? What do you do to stay sane as a stay at home parent?

Let me know below.