mama Archives - Leaf and Steel

My Baby Knows What She Needs

April 24, 2022

Ah, let me just grab my megaphone and get onto my soapbox.

*I feel very strongly about this*

I will be screaming all of this into the void for the rest of my life.

Let’s begin.

My baby knows what she needs and it’s my job to listen to her and respect her.

I don’t know how we are in a place where “gentle parenting” even has a name and isn’t just called “parenting yet”. There shouldn’t really be another option, right? Either way, I’m happy society is moving in the right direction.

My daughter has a voice. She’s had a voice since she was in the womb. She would respond to different stimuli- cold water, Chipotle, light. Even before she was “here”, she’s been communicating with me.

My partner and I talked (and continue to talk) about how important it is for our daughter to understand consent and to know that her voice is hers.

I am not in her body, I don’t know what she needs. So, when she wakes up crying at 3 am for the eighth night in a row because she needs a sip of water – I’m not going to deny her water.

If she is rubbing her eyes an hour before her usual nap time, I put her to bed a little earlier. If she takes a few bites of her dinner and says “done”, then I believe that she’s done.

It’s these small moments that show her that I am listening and that I believe her.

Here are some ways we listen to our child.

let her finish eating
let her have more food
let her nap when she’s tired
respect her when she says “no” to a hug, kiss, etc.
she doesn’t have to hug or be held by anyone if she doesn’t want to

That last one can be a little tricky, especially with family. Although she adores all of her family members, she doesn’t have to hug or be held by them if she doesn’t want to.

We are so grateful that our families respect her boundaries listen to her voice.

When we stop responding to our babies in the middle of the night, tell them they need to eat when they aren’t hungry, tell them they are “fine” when they tell us they feel sick, we are teaching them to go against their gut.

My baby has a gut. It’s hers. She has intuition. Kids are like dogs, they pickup on things adults do not. It’s my job as a parent to protect her gut and listen to her, to teach her how to use it.

Here are some things we do to keep her intuition intact:

help her know the difference between a secret and a surprise
tell her the difference between safe and unsafe touching
tell her who to go to if she needs help
remind her that mommy and daddy will always keep her safe
remind her that there’s nothing she can do to make us stop loving her

I cannot wait for social media rules regarding parents and kids. I can’t wait for Instagram Coogan accounts.

I have this blog, I have social media. And I have a strict code of ethics when it comes to posting about my kid.

For the love of God, please stop posting bath pics. Stop telling strangers on the internet about potty training. Stop posting embarrassing videos, personal information, or school details.

Your child is a human being who ALREADY has thoughts and feelings.

Here are some of the ways we protect our child’s privacy:

respecting when she doesn’t want her picture taken
vigorously reviewing everything we post about her, including pictures
not disclosing her medical information
changing her privately rather than in front of people
asking others to respect our wishes as far as posting pictures and information about her

I could go on and on.

I think it’s really important for all of us to take time every so often to reflect on the fact that kids are just smaller adults.

It’s important to review safety protocols and define respect for your family.

What are your thoughts?

What do you feel strongly about as a parent?
Let me know below.

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Baby Books to Celebrate Moms Everywhere

April 19, 2022

Mother’s Day is almost here! What better way to share your love of mom with your little one than by reading books on the subject!

Keep reading to see ten of the best baby books to celebrate any mom in 2022.

This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission off of products that are purchased through these links, at no cost to you. You can read more about this process here.

I don’t know about you, but we have books strewn all over our house. They’re everywhere. There are books for the bathtub, books for the stroller, books for grandparents’ houses and books for the car….

“Can you read your book while you wait” is an everyday phrase in our house. My daughter has been a voracious reader since the beginning. I love how much she loves to read! I credit our dedication to reading every day since birth (okay, not every day, I’m human).

In my experience, reading and motherhood go hand in hand!

There’s nothing sweeter than having my daughter crawl into my lap with her favorite book. As much as I love our snuggles during Puffin Rock or Elmo, reading a great children’s book with her is a joy like no other.

When is Mother’s Day this year?

Mother’s Day is on Sunday, May 8th, 2022. Mother’s Day is held on the second Sunday in May in the United States.

When should I start reading to my baby?

As soon as possible! Even if it’s a quick little board book in the beginning, get into the habit of reading to your baby immediately. I remember adding it onto my list of things to do when I had a newborn.

Read with your child every single day.

nothings more awkward than reading to a stranger in water who steals all your nutrients

See this article from Parents for more information: “The Benefits of Reading to Your Newborn” (click here for reference):

Studies have also shown that children who were read to as newborns have a larger vocabulary, as well as more advanced mathematical skills, than other kids their age. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, for example, found that kids who are read to every day are exposed to around 78,000 words each year—over five years, that adds up to 1.4 million words heard during story time.
There’s also a direct link between how many words a baby hears each day and her language skills. One study found that babies whose parents spoke to them a lot scored higher on standard tests when they reached age 3 than children whose parents weren’t as verbal.
Parents, “The Benefits of Reading to Your Newborn”

How do I read to my baby more?

I always say that the easiest way to read more books to your little one is to tack it onto an already formed routine. Reading before bedtime, around a mealtime, or after a nap are some of the best times to read with your baby.

Baby M loves to read by herself when I’m making her meals or in the car! By having lots of books in lots of places, it’s easy to keep your little one reading.

What are the best books about moms for babies?

I’ve compiled a list of some classics and newer titles.

My personal favorite is The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. I fell apart the first time I read it. There was something so sweet and comforting about the mama bunny accepting the baby bunny’s rebellion.

The illustrations by Clement Hurd are vibrant and iconic. I would love to hang some prints from this book in my next nursery.

I was encouraged (by the internet) to read to my baby while I was pregnant, that she would be comforted by the sound of my voice. The Runaway Bunny was always my go-to pregnancy read. Of course, I fully expected my infant daughter to have some kind of reaction to me reading the book when she was out. She made it very clear that the book was not her cup of tea…

My goal as a parent is to be “the tree” that my daughter can come home to.

Baby Books to Celebrate Moms Everywhere

The Runaway Bunny, Margaret Wise Brown

I Love Mom with The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle

Is Your Mama a Llama?, Deborah Guarino

Are You My Mother?, P.D. Eastman

I Love You, Mommy, Jillian Harker

The Invisible String, Patrice Karst

My Mom Loves Me!, Marianne Richmond

Why a Son Needs a Mom, Gregory E. Lang

Why a Daughter Needs a Mom, Gregory E. Lang

A Mother for Choco, Kelko Kasza

So, there are some of the best books to help your little one celebrate mother’s day this year!

Are you familiar with any of the books above? Have you read The Runaway Bunny?

How do you plan on celebrating the moms in your life this year?

Let me know below!

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Lessons from Stay-at-Home Moms

April 11, 2022

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Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work! I knew that being constantly responsible for Baby M and putting my career on hold would be a challenge, but I deeply underestimated the sacrifice I was making.

I feel incredibly blessed to be able to stay home with my daughter – especially when she was a tiny infant. It was a decision that my husband and I discussed before we were even married. There was no question that we wanted me to be home with the baby for the first year or two.

We’ve put off a lot of “big” expenses and I definitely have given up a portion of my sanity, but it’s all been worth it.

Keep reading to hear tips from fellow stay-at-home moms!

“Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”
Maria Shriver

What’s the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom?

For me, the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom is not having the structure of a workday on top of not having my own income.

I’m sure you already know that being a stay-at-home mom is work. I know that I’m personally exhausted at the end of the day, even if it sometimes feels like I didn’t actually do anything.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of that a nanny or housekeeper would get paid for what I’m doing for free.

I have feverous re-read this article from Investopedia, “How Much Is a Stay-at-Home Parent Worth?” (click for reference):

According to 2019 data from Salary.com, if you are a stay-at-home parent and paid for your services, you would be looking at a median annual salary of $178,201. Why? Because many stay-at-home parents work around the clock. If you have young children, work can often mean nighttime feedings, greeting early morning risers, and late-night meal prep.
Investopedia, How Much Is a Stay-at-Home Parent Worth?

Is being a stay-at-home mom worth it?

If you’re looking for an answer to this, you won’t find one.

One reason is that the answer varies based on your partner’s income, your home life, your child’s needs, the economy, and your personality. You will find plenty of working moms who wish to be home, and moms who spend naptime dreaming of being back at the office.

We can’t choose all paths, right? So, there’s always going to be a sacrifice. I know I have put my career on hold for time with my daughter, time that I know I won’t get back. I don’t know how that will affect my long-term earning power or work life.
Is it worth it? I believe that happy, secure parents = happy, secure baby, so whatever gets you there is the right path to walk.

Tips from stay-at-home moms

Here’s my tip:

Do whatever you want while baby is napping. Whatever you want. Whether that’s a nap or scrolling on Instagram or eating raw cookie dough while writing a blog post (like I am right now). Save the chores and checklists for when baby is up. They are fine entertaining themselves or observing you!
O, Leaf and Steel

The best tip I have for stay-at-home moms is… Be you and be gentle with you! There is no stay-at-home mold, so trying to put yourself into one or creating one, may be be very frustrating. Being as true to yourself is what will make this season enjoyable. So if your an artist at heart, paint with you littles. If you are a chef at heart, whip it up in the kitchen with kiddos. If you are a napper at heart. Create a schedule that includes spa like vibes and cucumber water and lay-it-down! Just remember this a hard job, but mama you are right for the job and if someone doesn’t like what or how you do it… tell them to stay hydrated and mind their business.
Leah, Those Who Can’t Vlog, Blog (itsleahb.wordpress.com)

“As a stay-at-home mom, I have had to learn many things, but the most important thing I have learned is that I am enough. My son doesn’t care how I look, how much money I make, or what my past looks like-he only cares about me being there for him. Being the best mom I can be, every day, is more than enough for him.”
Jaimie, The Naptime Blogger (thenaptimeblogger.com)

Don’t read into the motherhood help books/websites too much. It will cause you more stress than you already can handle in daily life. Give yourself grace and roll with it day by day.
Michelle, Mrs. Michelle Gomez (mrsmichellegomez.com)

Becoming a stay-at-home mom for myself was completely new and eye opening when the pandemic first happened. Two things I learned to work on for myself that I would suggest to any stay-at-home mom is to not pressure yourself to complete every single task and to make sure to reach out to other moms or friends that will help you maintain your sense of self. We become so focused on doing and going for our family and household that we don’t do the simple things that make us happy and feel like the individual we are.
Nicole, The Expressive Mom (theexpressivemom.com)

Do you have a tip for other stay-at-home moms?

Were you a stay-at-home parent or plan on becoming one?

Let me know below!

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Little Things I Do To Make my Baby Feel Loved

January 20, 2022

One of my favorite things about being a mom is showing my daughter just how much I love her! There’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and child. One of my jobs as a stay-at-home-mom, or any mom, really, is to make sure her world is filled with comfort, happiness, and love!

Since she is one, she is spoiled by simple pleasures. This is what I love about tiny children – they find joy in the smallest things. Yesterday, Baby M entertained herself with a half-filled sprinkle container, shaking it back and forth.

We all know the stories of the kids who would rather play with the cardboard box that the toy comes in rather than the actual toy, and those anecdotes are completely true!

If there’s one thing we all can appreciate about children it is their innate ability to find enjoyment in the most unassuming things.

We took her to a local holiday light show at Christmastime. It brought tears to my eyes to watch her little face light up with amazement. Last summer, we took her to a farm in Lancaster, PA, and she was absolutely ecstatic to see so many chickens.

It’s true that having children really does make you notice and appreciate the little things.

There are some acts of kindness that I like to practice with my daughter every day. I want nothing more for her to feel safe, loved, and cared for. I have such fond memories of my own mother taking care of me with tender, loving care.

So, here are some of the ways I’ve been giving my girl the love she deserves lately!

Loads of Affection

This one is completely natural! Hugs, kisses, pats…showing constant affection for my baby shows her I’m here and I love her.

Cut sandwiches into shapes

The easiest way to do this is to get a pack of cookie cutters. I use them on everything, from cucumbers to apples to sandwiches.

Bubble Baths

My baby loves a good bubble bath (who doesn’t?)! Burt’s Bees Bubble Bath is our soap of choice.

Set Up Toys

My husband and I set up her toys in the family room play area in different arrangements each night. I have a post on how to set up a learning center for your one-year-old here. I feel like Dwight Schrute setting up Michael’s action figures every night – ha! It makes every morning feel like Christmas morning.

Adventure

Baby M is my “little adventure buddy”. Although I’m pretty introverted, having a built-in travel companion has been so much fun! We visit the local farm, the pet store, the library – anywhere we can go, we go! If it is winter where you are too, check out my post on 5 Free Indoor Places to Go with Baby.

Lots of Fresh Air and Sunshine

We love being outdoors any chance we get. Even though Long Island winters are dark and gloomy, we try to get out anytime the weather warms up. Baby M loves to “travel” by stroller or wagon.

Validate Feelings

This one should go without saying! Labeling and validating my little one’s emotions helps both of us. It helps my daughter learn to identify her feelings and that all feelings are valid! It helps me because it causes me to slow down and put myself in her shoes rather than getting frustrated. She is right on the cusp of toddler-hood so it must be so hard for her to figure out what she needs and how to communicate to me! Empathy is key.

These are just some of the things I do to make my daughter feel loved and that help me feel like I’m being a “good mom”. If cutting sandwiches into shapes isn’t your thing, or you aren’t able to take them on adventures, that’s cool too.

I believe that there are countless ways that we can show our love. At the end of the day, I think patience, kindness, love, and consistency is what makes a good mom.

Do you do any of these for your child? What was the most important thing your parent did for you growing up?

Let me know below!

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Baby’s 12 Summer Essentials

May 20, 2021

Summer is just around the corner and things are looking different since having a baby.

After a long winter we are ready to get outside in the sun and celebrate! My daughter loves to play in the backyard and will soon be headed to the beach to get her first taste of the Long Island Sound.

I’m looking forward to making tons of joyful memories with my daughter this summer.

_{This post contains affiliate links. For more information please visit our Disclaimer page.}

I’ve compiled a list of 12 essentials for baby’s first summer! Now bring on the popsicles and fireworks…

The best part of bringing baby to the beach? Picking out those tiny swimsuits! This one from RuffleButts has that classic American style perfect for summer.

I had never heard of this product before I became a mom! It’s a carseat cooler and it’s basically a series of ice packs that you can place in baby’s seat before they ride. We have the UppaBaby Mesa and it gets super hot. There are so many on the market, but Little Bum Coolers have the most stylish prints and affordable pricing.

A fan that grips onto the stroller, car seat, table, and more? I’ll take one too. This one is battery powered and will outlive the infant days.

This splash pad is ready for hours of fun in the backyard. It’s lightweight and the soft plastic makes it easy to fold up when not in use. It just needs to be hooked up to a hose!

I always put a hat on my daughter when we head outside in sunny weather. I do this in addition to sunscreen for extra protection. She’s very fair and I want to protect her delicate skin! She also looks downright adorable in eyelet. This one is only $14.99…

This has been on my list since I was pregnant. I consider this a childhood staple and will outlast the infant stage. This Little Tikes one has amazing reviews. It can be used in the winter, too. Just fill it with snow or bring it inside and create a sensory table with dry rice or pasta.

I first came across Badger baby sunscreen when I was a preschool teacher, and then it came up again when I was researching sunscreen for my child. Badger is reef safe, water resistant and non-nano. A little bit goes a long way! Here’s a link to Amazon but it can also be found at Target.

I’ll be bringing my daughter to friends’ pools this summer and they’ve all recommended a floaty like this. The umbrella is a great way to block excess sun.

Make baby a breastmilk or teething popsicle with this teetherpop! I’ve been freezing Earth’s Best Organic baby food in Gootensils but using an actual baby popsicle maker works much better!

These are the Target Cabana towels! They measure 58’x48′, so perfect for a little one. Their smaller size and lightweight material make them a summer essential.

At an affordable $6, I’ll take one in every color.

My daughter has a whole collection of sunnies! They’re a great way to protect baby’s sensitive eyes and are the sweetest little accessory. These flower ones are absolutely perfect.

Last, but not least, what summer would be complete without a kiddie pool? While the plain round ones remain a staple, the internet has provided us with so many more options, such as this affordable dinosaur model complete with a volcano slide.

What are your summer baby essentials? Let me know down below…

My Baby is Growing Up

February 15, 2021

My baby is no longer a newborn. She’s a cooing, grasping, giggling baby. At 12 weeks old she is growing seemingly overnight. Every week I put more and more outfits in the “too small” bin for storing. Today, after putting away her tiny little onesies and tiny little pants it hit me that she will never be this small again.

I’ve put away my crop tops and size 2 pants “for another time”, or skirts and dresses for next summer, but she will literally never fit into these clothes again. The only time I’ll see them again is if I have another baby or give them away. She hits milestone after milestone these days. I had no idea it’d be this bittersweet.

I think becoming a mom has made me a complete mush. And that’s okay. I’m going to keep soaking up the coos and teensy feet.

I am so grateful for my time with her.