crunchy mom Archives - Leaf and Steel

How I Breastfed for Over a Year

March 17, 2022

I breastfed for 13 months and I couldn’t be more proud of myself! It was something that I decided I wanted to do even before pregnancy. Fed is best, of course, but I knew I wanted the bond and endless benefits that come from nursing.

Keep reading to see how I was able to breastfeed my baby for over a year!

Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind when prioritizing breastfeeding is all the amazing benefits for mama and baby. Here are some of those benefits from the CDC website (click for reference):

How I breastfed my baby for over a year:

I Kept Telling Myself I Could Quit

I told myself I could quit – tomorrow. I just had to make it one more day! It’s simple, but it got me through the first really tough weeks.

I built a freezer stash for my own sanity.

I began pumping almost immediately after my milk came in. I used this pump and these bags to store my milk! I would lay the bags down flat in my freezer at first, that way they would defrost faster.

Pumping and storing milk allowed my husband to give her a bottle and it gave me a little freedom to get out of the house, or you know, take a shower.

Not everyone has an easy time pumping, and I definitely didn’t once Baby M started solids. But, I didn’t have a problem with doing it. I would sit down for 20 minutes either during naptime or after my baby went to bed and just scroll on my phone and pump.

Realistically, I would’ve been sitting on the couch on my phone anyways, so it never felt like a big deal.

How to Build a Portable Breastfeeding Bin

I Rewarded Myself

One thing I don’t miss about breastfeeding is the sheer amount of calories I would have to consume to make enough milk and to feel satiated.

I would treat myself to my favorite high protein, high carb meals all the time!

I also purchased a few new sweaters and tops that were nursing friendly.

Mommy and Baby Day Off Schedule

I followed @g1avasis, @marissathemilkmom, and @milkymamallc for inspiration! I didn’t know a lot of moms who nursed past a few months, so seeing other moms online really helped motivate me to keep going.

10 More Mom Influencers to Follow for Inspiration

I supplemented when necessary.

There was a point where I didn’t have hours to sit pumping the amount I needed to satisfy my baby. She was only getting one bottle a day, but once we started solids my supply had slowed down.

It seemed like a huge decision at the time, but we started supplementing with formula. My husband was able to give her a bottle and I wasn’t attached to the pump every spare moment.

Let me tell you, I have never felt so free!

We used Enfamil liquid before switching to the powder for our baby. My heart goes out to families that exclusively bottle feed – that stuff is expensive.

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We weaned when we were ready.

We weaned around 13 months. My baby was nursing for a minute or two when she woke up. She would pinch and poke me towards the end and it was becoming a very uncomfortable and frankly annoying experience.

One day, we just stopped. There was no “last time” or tears. It felt like a mutual decision between my baby and I.

I am so grateful for the bond we share and memories we made nursing. I’m proud of myself for sticking with it and finding a way to make it work.

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It’s been a relief to have my body back.

No, not in that way. My body will never come “back” because it never left. It has definitely changed and shows the wear of a pregnancy and birth and sleepless nights.

What I mean is it’s a relief to have my body back. I no longer have to monitor what I put in my body and worry about it affecting my baby. I’m not in pain if I haven’t fed or pumped in a few hours.

I had an instinctive moment of hesitation while drinking an extra large espresso drink, before remembering that the caffeine wasn’t going to affect anyone but me!

My plan for next time.

I have big pumping plans for baby #2! Next time, I plan on prioritizing pumping in the beginning so I can build a bigger stash for when we decide we’re done nursing. We are going to get a deep freezer so that the frozen milk lasts longer.

I also plan on trying to breastfeed longer. There are so many benefits of “extended” nursing and it was just so convenient and easy!

What’s your experience with breastfeeding?

Is it normalized where you live?
Let me know below!

Little Things I Do To Make My Baby Feel Loved

January 20, 2022

One of my favorite things about being a mom is showing my daughter just how much I love her! There’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and child. One of my jobs as a stay-at-home-mom, or any mom, really, is to make sure her world is filled with comfort, happiness, and love!

Since she is one, she is spoiled by simple pleasures. This is what I love about tiny children – they find joy in the smallest things. Yesterday, Baby M entertained herself with a half-filled sprinkle container, shaking it back and forth.

We all know the stories of the kids who would rather play with the cardboard box that the toy comes in rather than the actual toy, and those anecdotes are completely true!

If there’s one thing we all can appreciate about children it is their innate ability to find enjoyment in the most unassuming things.

We took her to a local holiday light show at Christmastime. It brought tears to my eyes to watch her little face light up with amazement. Last summer, we took her to a farm in Lancaster, PA, and she was absolutely ecstatic to see so many chickens.

It’s true that having children really does make you notice and appreciate the little things.

There are some acts of kindness that I like to practice with my daughter every day. I want nothing more for her to feel safe, loved, and cared for. I have such fond memories of my own mother taking care of me with tender, loving care.

So, here are some of the ways I’ve been giving my girl the love she deserves lately!

Loads of Affection

This one is completely natural! Hugs, kisses, pats…showing constant affection for my baby shows her I’m here and I love her.

Cut sandwiches into shapes

The easiest way to do this is to get a pack of cookie cutters. I use them on everything, from cucumbers to apples to sandwiches.

Bubble Baths

My baby loves a good bubble bath (who doesn’t?)! Burt’s Bees Bubble Bath is our soap of choice.

Set Up Toys

My husband and I set up her toys in the family room play area in different arrangements each night. I have a post on how to set up a learning center for your one-year-old here. I feel like Dwight Schrute setting up Michael’s action figures every night – ha! It makes every morning feel like Christmas morning.

Adventure

Baby M is my “little adventure buddy”. Although I’m pretty introverted, having a built-in travel companion has been so much fun! We visit the local farm, the pet store, the library – anywhere we can go, we go! If it is winter where you are too, check out my post on 5 Free Indoor Places to Go with Baby.

Lots of Fresh Air and Sunshine

We love being outdoors any chance we get. Even though Long Island winters are dark and gloomy, we try to get out anytime the weather warms up. Baby M loves to “travel” by stroller or wagon.

Validate Feelings

This one should go without saying! Labeling and validating my little one’s emotions helps both of us. It helps my daughter learn to identify her feelings and that all feelings are valid! It helps me because it causes me to slow down and put myself in her shoes rather than getting frustrated. She is right on the cusp of toddler-hood so it must be so hard for her to figure out what she needs and how to communicate to me! Empathy is key.

These are just some of the things I do to make my daughter feel loved and that help me feel like I’m being a “good mom”. If cutting sandwiches into shapes isn’t your thing, or you aren’t able to take them on adventures, that’s cool too.

I believe that there are countless ways that we can show our love. At the end of the day, I think patience, kindness, love, and consistency is what makes a good mom.

Do you do any of these for your child? What was the most important thing your parent did for you growing up?

Let me know below!

Your Baby Doesn’t Need to Sleep Through the Night

November 9, 2021

I don’t know who needs to hear it, but your baby doesn’t need to sleep through the night.

If your baby doesn’t sleep through the night, there’s nothing wrong with that.

There’s nothing wrong with your baby.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

“If you go in to the bedroom to help her fall asleep, don’t make eye contact. It’ll keep her from falling asleep,” I said to my husband.

Our daughter had to be maybe two months old, if that.

I followed lots of baby sleep Instagram accounts. There’s one in particular with millions of followers, who I won’t mention by name. It’s the Ferber method with cute little acronyms. I heard words like “sleep crutch” or “bad habit”.

I was indoctrinated to believe that there was something wrong with me and something wrong with my baby when she didn’t sleep through the night.

We never sleep trained, but I was beginning to use techniques that I had heard on these pages, such as not making eye contact for fear of stimulating my child’s brain. I thought there was something wrong with me for nursing her to sleep.

My daughter slept in three hour clusters for probably the first year of her life.

I thought I was damaging my kid by meeting her needs. I would get up for her every time she cried. Sometimes she was ravenous, other times she just needed a hug and a kiss and it was back to bed. Sometimes she had a bad dream and just wanted to be comforted.

There were so many nights I got just a few hours of sleep and so many mornings where I could barely function.

I thought I was a bad mom.

We decided we weren’t going to let her cry.

I don’t remember how it happened, or if it started truly was a conscious decision as first.

I was the one to get up with the baby (I had the boobs and I didn’t have a job). My husband understood that some nights were harder than others. We got a lot of takeout and I let the laundry go another day and no one died.

It’s what worked best for our family.

I unfollowed all those accounts.

I didn’t need to defend myself to anyone.

I could complain that I was exhausted and that didn’t mean I had to sleep train.

I vented to people who respected my decision and let me say how tired I was without needing to provide a solution. I hold those friends very close to my heart.

People love to ask two questions when you have a new baby, “are they good?” and “how is she sleeping? and they both are indescribably absurd. All babies are good babies. What does that even mean? And are they sleeping? Who cares. Are you sleeping? Great.

Recently, a mother of a 6 month old was telling me how her baby slept 11 hours the night before and offered to send me some tips. I nodded and said thank you.

And for a moment, that feeling came back.

That feeling that I was doing something wrong.

Or worse, feeling I was doing my baby a disservice by not meeting her needs. How crazy is that?

Of course, I came home and told my husband and reaffirmed my decision to get up with my daughter when she needed me.

I fully believe in my heart and maternal instincts that I’m doing and have done the right thing. The truth is that motherhood can be a wasteland – a vast expanse of loneliness and isolation. A lot of the times we’re making decisions for our children that aren’t supported or understood. The indistinguishable competition of motherhood is ruthless and unforgiving. It has no finish line or barometer. Most of the time I think we’re competing with each other in a desperate attempt to soothe our own defenselessness against the world.

I stand firm in my choice to accept my daughters needs and to listen to her.

I know this is a controversial topic. Maybe I’m putting this here because I don’t want to offend anyone in my life outside of this blog. Parenting is messy and in America today, mothers will likely never come out on top.

Our Experience with Baby Led Weaning

October 4, 2021

“Dadadada!” Baby M babbles excitedly. I pass her another quarter of a turkey meatball. She smiles wide as she pinches off pieces and puts them into her mouth.

“Dadadada!”

I have never seen someone so fired up about a meatball. Baby-led weaning has led us to countless moments of captivation between Baby M and new foods.

Baby-led weaning is one of the most convenient and nutritious way to move to solids!

Always consult your pediatrician before beginning solids with your child.

This post may contain affiliate links. This means that I may make a small commission off of products that are purchased through these links, at no cost to you. You can read more about this process here.

Baby-led weaning is the process of letting your baby eat and explore finger foods in their natural form, as opposed to purées. Not only can it enhance hand-eye coordination, speech skills, and finger dexterity, it can create a healthy relationship with food.

Every parent should look into baby-led weaning because of the many benefits it can offer your child.

Our Pediatrician’s Advice

I was told we could start giving Baby M tastes of solids starting at 4 months. I would give her a few bits of purées and moved onto BLW at 6 months.

I also waited until she could sit up on her own and was no longer pushing food out of her mouth with her tongue (the extrusion or tongue thrust reflex).

Our Experience

The hardest part about BLW is the anxiety around choking. I watched a lot of “choking vs. gagging” videos to prepare myself. I learned CPR and always have my phone on me in case of an emergency. I do have to say, nothing prepared me for the wave of panic that swept over me the first time my baby gagged.

As soon as I heard the gagging noise I picked her up and ran towards the bathroom where my husband was showering, to tell him to call 911. Of course, within those 10 seconds, Baby M had puked up whatever she was working on and was giggling.

Now, when she starts to gag I watch her closely and so far she’s been fine. By giving her the space to work it out calmly, she is able to cough up everything thus far.

Learning to cut food items the proper way as well as creating a safe feeding environment has been the most beneficial to me. I also don’t feed her foods that I’m not comfortable with yet, and definitely not ones that aren’t safe yet.

She started with huge wedges of food and has now learned to take small, controlled bites. It’s amazing to see her progress!

The Payoff

Watching my daughter explore and enjoy food has been one of the greatest joys of motherhood so far. Seeing her delight in her first piece of penne or savor a slice of avocado gives me pride. As someone who has struggled with eating disorders in the past, it’s important to that my daughter has a respectful relationship with food.

I let her decide how much she eats and how. Some days she eats like a linebacker, other days she just wants to eat off a pinch of her baby-sized omelette. She tells me what tastes good. She is in control. It’s amazing to see her choices.

Baby M abhorred broccoli the first time she tried it. But, we kept serving it alongside food she already loves, like it was no big deal. On maybe the sixth or seventh time she took the tiniest nibble. She was hooked. She wanted more, more, more.

I was so proud of her for trying something again and enjoying it.

These little moments of discovery are so precious and exciting.

Another great perk to BLW is making cute little animals out of food, of course.

Tools of the Trade

My favorite tool has been the Mini Spoon and Fork Set from Babeehive Goods. Their set spoon and fork have grips that make them perfect for little hands! They come in seven colors and are super affordable.

Spoon and fork set.

Our high chair.

Kitchen shears (more efficient than a knife).

Thanks to Babeehive Goods for sponsoring this post, as always all opinions are my own!

There’s no one way to feed your baby. Baby-led weaning has worked for our baby and our family. I don’t hesitate to give Baby M a puréed pouch when we are on a road trip or pressed for time.

Have you tried baby-led weaning or do you prefer purées? Maybe a combination of both?

Let me know below.

References for Baby-Led Weaning: