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Leaf and Steel

motherhood - growth - living

The Best Baby Advice I’ve Received

April 5, 2021

“Go by the baby, not the book.”

It’s the best advice I’ve ever received. Before I was a mom I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew exactly what my baby would like or dislike. I would read about the magical connection brought on by baby carriers. I had visions of myself baby-wearing throughout the day, getting things done and soaking up that skin-to-skin contact. Well, my daughter gets overheated very quickly and greatly dislikes the carriers we have.

I read that I shouldn’t introduce a pacifier for a month to avoid “nipple confusion”, but you bet your bottom dollar I was breaking open the binky packaging at 4 am on our first night home. Same with bottles. And teethers.

There are so many “rules” to parenting. So many suggestions. So many apps telling me when and how to feed, nap and bathe my baby. I think I’ve broken almost all of rules the so far. And were doing just fine.

Although I’ve only been doing this for four short months (which is really four years in mom-time), I’ve learned to read my baby’s cues and meet her needs based on this. If she’s vigorously rubbing her eyes, she goes to sleep, even if my Huckleberry app is saying she isn’t due for a nap for another hour. If she’s sucking her hand, she eats. I’m not sleep training. I’m not timing how long she eats anymore.

I go by my baby, not the book. She is fed, clean, well rested and HAPPY. It’s an absolute privilege to respond to her needs and be present for her.

So, go by your baby not the book. They’re going to change the advice in 10 years anyways.

What lessons have you “unlearned” while parenting?

O.

Filed in: Uncategorized • by Olivia • 6 Comments

Daytime Activities for 4 Month Olds

March 31, 2021

Looking for activities for your 4 month old? As a stay at home mom, my brain sometimes turns to mush after the monotony of life with a baby. The feeding, the changing, the rocking, the reading…it gets a little mind numbing after awhile.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my daughter more than anything. Being a stay-at-home-mom at this point in my life has been an absolute blessing. It was the best decision for me and my family.

When I had a newborn I was parked on my couch for two months. All I did was nurse, eat, and watch Bravo, and all my daughter did was eat and sleep.

As my baby has grown older, she definitely needs more active play during her wake periods. At 4 months old, she is awake and ready for the day at 7 a.m. in a way I can only be after 3 cups of coffee.

We were chugging along with our daily routine of books, walks, songs and more.

“I’ve got this motherhood thing,” I would say.

“She’s so easy, let’s have another now,” my husband would say.

And then it happened.

The dreaded 4 month sleep regression.

My daughter went from sleeping 8+ hours straight to waking every 45 minutes. She would fight naps and we would both end up crying. I was barely able to take care of myself. All my energy went into taking care of her and meeting her needs.

Most days I felt like we were just surviving.

I was keeping her fed, clean and healthy. But, I didn’t feel like a good mom, even though all her needs were more than taken care of.

Some days I felt like all we were doing was just reading books or just working on tummy time.

As a former early child educator, I know how important it is to work on all baby’s skills every day. They learn so much from watching us go about our daily lives; watching how we hold a cup or move our bodies. However, as a parent it’s my job to make sure I’m helping my child work on skills to meet milestones in a reasonable amount of time.

I’m a list person and benefit from writing down what I need to do so that it’s out of my head. I knew I wanted to do more to meet my daughter’s growing needs.

So, in my exhausted state I wrote down developmentally appropriate activities for my 4 month old that I can do on a daily basis. I keep this print out in the nursery for when the stay-at-home mom burnout hits and I can’t think of a single thing to do with my daughter.


I divided it into five categories:

  • Fine Motor (small body movements)
  • Gross Motor (big body movements)
  • Sensory
  • Language
  • Music

Obviously, many of these overlap, like grasping objects with different textures can be sensory and fine motor. Singing songs while dancing can be music and gross motor. You get the point.

It also helps me make sure I’m working on each area of development. It’s become like a checklist to ensure for a well rounded day.

When I was a preschool teacher I had to be seriously intentional about what games and toys I chose to bring into the classroom. It’s important to have developmentally appropriate expectations of different children at different ages.

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By switching my mindset back to teaching through play rather than “entertaining” or “keeping my baby busy” I’ve found that we are both so engaged in whatever it is we are doing. It’s so easy to give her a toy and let my mind wander to meal planning, laundry, or just zone out. When I’m intentional and focused on us exploring the world together we are present together and bonding.


How do you play with your baby? Do you find that a list helps you stay on top of motherhood? Let me know below.

Click here to download my 4 Month Old Daily Activities PDFDownload

Filed in: Uncategorized • by Olivia • 3 Comments

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