I Want to Be this New Person

“You see, I want to be this new person…stop putting things off.

I want to make my bed in the morning.

I want to do all the things I keep saying I’m going to do.

More moving and less sitting and planning.

More real living and letting God’s love pour out of me.

Here are some things I’m going to try to do.”

I didn’t plan on writing anything today, but that’s what wanted to come out. A few nights ago, I was out to dinner with friends and slowly felt a wave of confusion wash over me. The conversation about our volleyball league felt futile. It all felt vapid. I emotionally withdrew myself from the rest of dinner. My husband asked what was wrong. I said I was tired.

And I was. Tired of feeling like I wasn’t being true to myself, of feeling like I was just going through the motions. Tired of saying I was going to do things and not doing them. I had that pull for changes in my behavior, which I know will change the way I feel.

So, that brings me to this little list for living more intentionally. Like a midyear resolutions list. I am typically a fan of specific goal setting, but this is really a broad but important list of improvements for my life:

  • Pray more. More prayer for God’s will for me and more prayer for the world.
  • Drink more tea. Because the caffeine addiction is too real lately.
  • Let go and trust God’s timing.
  • Make my bed.
  • Spend more time in solitude. In other seasons of my life, I would urge myself to do just the opposite. But lately, my alone time has been scarce and I feel called to spend more time reflecting and doing the things that make me feel limitless.
  • Listen to my body. Run when I want to run and sleep when I need to sleep.
  • Prioritize “fun things” by season. This could also be seasonal bucket lists, because I constantly feel like I’m putting things off to “next summer/Christmas/fall”.
  • Accept that the instant gratification of Amazon Prime won’t fix the holes in my soul. Only God can do that. Again, the instant gratification of Amazon Prime won’t fix the holes in my soul. Only God can do that.
  • Sleep in on Sundays… and relish in slow mornings and silence. God willing, it won’t always be like this.
  • Concentrate on my marriage. Just because things are good doesn’t mean some effort and planning can’t make it even better!

So, these are my resolutions right now. I’m not waiting until January 1st.

What do you do when you’re in a slump? Are you a list maker like me? What can you change in your life to be your best, most centered self?

Let me know below!



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