On being myself…

…”My higher power wants me to be myself so badly” she said firmly. It made me feel something. Some pull or desire to understand. I’ll admit I have no idea how to apply that into my life. I have no idea how to get there.

I have some things that I want and I have some inkling of what I need beyond food and water. But the process of coming into myself, creating, imagining, working towards who my higher power wants me to be is something different. Sometimes I put women into these little boxes: the Christian wife, the workaholic, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, etc. I change masks, trying to find someone I can be who feels like home. 

I’m 23 and nothing in my life has gone as planned, so maybe I’m not supposed to know.

All I do know is that I someday have that feeling of being authentically myself, no matter the situation.

I’ll probably delete this, but I needed to get it out.
O.

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